Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
