Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
