Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
