She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize