Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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