What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
