Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
