we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
