Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
