Don't make out with my wife yet
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He felt like a one man threesome
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
