I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
