Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
