very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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