her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize