Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
