How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
