How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
