Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
