we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
