i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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