i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
