I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
