I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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