Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
