hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
