just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Two words: blizzard sex
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
