she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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