dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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