You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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