tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
