Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
