you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
