Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
