Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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