I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
