i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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