so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
