lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
