Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
