the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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