You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I feel great
I just peed on a car
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
its liver damage thursday
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
