she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Four minutes until I can fart!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
