Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
