when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
