his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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