no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
