Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize