I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
