Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize