so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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