Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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