You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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