toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
