Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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