Heybabeimwearingurpanties
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
