Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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