batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
