I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
