those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
