whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
