Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
