it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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