That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
